Pitch for Bethanne
Two heavier set men in overalls taking a break on a construction site while eating sandwiches and being from Western Pennsylvania.
Hey Roy.
Hey Tim.
I figured it out.
What’d you figure out Tim?
How to get her to notice me.
That’s great Tim, how will you do it?
She loves animals. I have three animals in my apartment. I’ll tell her a story I have been thinking through, a story that’s actually a pitch. A pitch for a battery commercial. I’ll ask her if it’s a good idea, and tell her the characters are based on myself and my three animals. Here’s how the pitch will go:
‘So it’s sort of an arthouse cinema meets energizer bunny bit. My wife gets home from a business trip for work and notices the apartment is a bit of a wreck as she walks in. Then she senses a faint odor - this will be indicated by her nose scrunching up and scrunching down.
She walks into the kitchen to find me laid out on the floor, having suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning maybe days before, because I forgot to change the battery in the smoke alarm. Also with me are my three animals, who according to the logistics of the scene have perished after me, so they’re all laying around me there on the floor, also dead but intentionally positioned (dog head resting on chest, cat in crook of knees, other cat laying wrapped around head). And then it’s just a slow pan of the kitchen, and these big letters come up in a font that’s really raggedy on the edges to impart a negative connotation that says “never forget to change your battery”, and then those letters go away and we start to slowly zoom out, and then it just flashes the particular battery with the brand name visible over top of our bodies in the kitchen, and then cuts to the next commercial!’
Well Tim that’s really sounding like a full commercial to me. Do you think the dead animals will impact sales in a positive way?
That doesn’t really matter for the purposes of Bethanne noticing me.
Oh I forgot about Bethanne.
Well that’s really a let down, Roy. The whole point is she will see how much my animals loved me because I will remind her that the characters that die in the commercial are based on me and my three animals in my apartment.
Why would you pitch a potentially unsuccessful commercial to Bethanne, Tim?
It’s not about success, Roy, it’s about love.
Okay fair enough, what about the wife in the commercial? If all of the characters are based off of you and your animals, couldn’t Bethanne conjecture that you are a married man?
I want her to see me as marriage material, Roy.
I dunno, Tim, that seems like it could be misleading. Bethanne seems like someone who respects the sanctity of marriage. Also, dead animals might make her sad.
I mean no disrespect by having a fictional wife, that just seems essential to the plot of the commercial. If it were a roommate, Bethanne might think that I’m a grown man with a roommate.
If you’re worried about Bethanne conflating a roommate with your real life, then how aren’t you worried about her assuming you’re married after hearing all of this?
Alright Roy, I understand now that you are insecure and don’t want me to be happy because you are unhappy, so I’ll be finishing my lunch over there with Ralph today.
Tim walks away to join Ralph and his sandwich on a beam 15 feet or so away. Ralph is also from Western Pennsylvania.
Hey Ralph.
Hey Tim.
I figured it out.
What’d you figure out Tim?
How to get her to notice me.
That’s great Tim, how will you do it?
December 4, 2022 at 1:17 PM
don't worry buddy, i'll be back soon
don't worry buddy, i'll be back soon
it's cold out here, let's hurry up
empty out and i'll be back soon
empty out and i'll be back soon
it's cold out here, let's hurry up
this isn't a trick, you're cold too
i don't think we're supposed to
but what if we do that
i don't think we're supposed to even once
so what if we do that twice
i don't think we're supposed to
so i'll meet you there in an hour
the shuttle will be here in 35 minutes
the shuttle will be here in 15 minutes
where is the shuttle, oh there it is
we are now inside the shuttle
play the damn funky tunes
i can't go another moment without them
if you don't put them on i'll scream
i swear i'm not fucking around
i'll scream if you don't play the funky tunes
take me seriously or you'll be sorry
play the damn funky tunes or i'll scream
if you shift a little over to the left
i'll have more blanket slack
with more blanket slack i won't shiver
there's no use reasoning with you
because you actually can't hear me
she said every house is a museum
on top of its inhabitants
i agree with her and also
i fear people being swallowed up in mine
do you need a snack?
let me know if you need a snack
i figure at some point you'll need a snack
when that moment comes
keep me informed
because i like to be made aware
of all snack times
if everyone takes one item out of the bag
and puts that one item into my bag
eventually I will acquire so many items
what do you think of that plan?
i think it sounds pretty good.
SIT AND CLICK AND SCROLL
SQUEEZE GOO OUT OF FACE
WALK A DOG THAT STANDS STILL
DO IT ALL AGAIN
082622
zen gardens have always been kind of perplexing to me
the walls are so low that it’s really easy for the sand to fall out
getting sand everywhere doesn’t make me feel very zen
all the little grains are so tiny
but when they’re scattered where I don’t want them to be
they feel much bigger
all the little grains are displaced at the same time
and it makes looking at the part of the garden that is beautiful
feel impossible
the new doctor told me it sounds like
some people have high expectations of me
and it sounds like I have low expectations of me
i looked at little grains of sand outside of where they’re supposed to be
and thought about the sunrise through my dog’s ears
i looked at little grains of sand outside of where they’re supposed to be
and thought about the walk around the city at a quieter hour,
about sidewalks I’ve known long that don’t feel familiar anymore
buffering
today I curled up in a ball on the floor
and cried in the glow of multiple laptops
while my neighbor buried his dog outside.
I didn’t care that cat litter was under me,
I didn’t care that email was over me.
my parents told me i was real quiet as a kid,
and that my teachers would put me between the loud kids on purpose.
I never had a say in being a buffer.
I wonder about whether I’d be in the same spot now
had I been sitting elsewhere then.
my other neighbor has had many jobs and asks me to go to karaoke 3-4 times a week. I always say yes and put off going. today he was on molly and asked me to find the end of his packing tape. he said he was feeling weird so he took molly. I think it’s because his wife left. I was just trying to move the car for alternate side parking. He has a new roommate that isn’t his wife, and I have not seen his kids in a while. His kids are loud and quiet and I wonder where they sit at school. he decided to turn his garage into an airbnb, that’s why he needed to find the end of the packing tape. I found it and walked away and he followed me and kept talking.
buffers can probably be spotted and placed from a young age.
they listen and try to provide the right answer
to keep things calm within a certain mile radius.
how many buffers get stuck playing the same role
for long stints with the people that choose them.
the people that claim them
they may not realize they just love what a buffer does for them.
how many buffers wonder if the love they’re getting is for them,
or if the love is for what they do for the lover
how many buffers feel certain about what they’re interested in,
or able to focus when they have a moment to themselves.
how many buffers know what to do if not currently buffering.
my neighbor with the dead dog is an old guy now, but was probably a loud kid in class. we hugged today about his dog and I thought about how he has never expected anything from me. I think if he ever was placed by a buffer in school he probably didn’t mold them to his life. I think if he ever was placed by a buffer in school he listened to them.
bad night
tonight is a bad night
you can tell by the stack of snotty toilet paper on the coffee table
i got this coffee table off craigslist from a family
the dad had big earrings and him and his daughter
laid all the tiles out on it together at some point
the mom was really cool and came out to talk to me
for more minutes than she had to, she seemed really busy
they were making a better table
so they were giving this one away
i thought this one was perfect and was happy to have it
i wonder what the better one looks like
they invited me to stay for dinner and i know they meant it
i said thank you and left instead
the dad helped me put the coffee table in the car
i wondered how i’d take it out by myself
somehow i did but i don’t remember how
i just know i was alone
it definitely happened though
because now here i am putting tissues on it
i chatted a suicide hotline tonight
i’ve done that a couple times before
you don’t have to be about to kill yourself to chat a suicide hotline
you just have to be sad
that’s one of the only things i know i qualify for
which feels self indulgent to say
writing all this out also feels self indulgent
but here we are, me, this coffee table, and all of my snot
i like the chats because then i don’t have to talk on the phone
i never fully got the hang of talking on the phone
this chat i for sure wouldn’t return to
because reese told me not to swear
and that felt fucking inauthentic
reese also said that I am very empathetic
i’m not sure if he meant it because it was in writing,
but i’m tired of hearing that
one time a guy stopped kissing me in the middle of kissing me
because he said the way that I kiss is too empathetic
then he tried to give me his cat before he fled to england
i didn’t take his cat because i didn’t understand the gesture at all
i met someone really good not too long after that
then said bye to them right away
and probably logged onto a suicide chat
i have to move the car but at this point i look totally insane
i do not want to smile and wave to any neighbor
or any familiar face
all i do is smile and wave like the penguins in Madagascar
chris rock was the zebra and also he got slapped later in life
i think i might benefit from a slap,
or from shoving my face into a pile of snow
or to see if anything really happens when i don’t move the car
but it is june, and it is just me here
SLUGS
MAYBE WE ARE ALL INSIDE A SLUG,
LIKE HOW THE WORLD IS IN A MARBLE
AT THE END OF MEN IN BLACK.
MAYBE THE SLUG MOVES SLOW ON PURPOSE
TO KEEP US UPRIGHT,
AND IF SALT IS POURED,
WE SWEAT AND CRY OUT
FOR AIR, FOR WATER, FOR SHADE.
AND IF THERE'S AN EARTHQUAKE,
A CHILD MAY HAVE TOOK US FOR A WALK,
AND MAYBE THE SALT
THAT FALLS OFF OUR BODIES
MELTS ICEBERGS, AND THAT EXTRA WATER
MAKES THE SLUG BLOAT—PAST ITS CAPACITY.
TOO MUCH PRESSURE HAPPENS.
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
THE SLUG COULD BURST
WITH ANY WRONG MOVE.
WET BACKPACK
backpack is wet
unprotected by umbrella
lack of marsupial storage
but always carrying stuff carrying stuff
in our backpacks
our sometimes wet backpacks
i saved a salad in there
the box dented
the dent provided opportunity for leak
the rain and the leak agreed and later
when I turned on my light it burnt out
it burnt out when i touched the switch
i didn't even press the switch
my backpack is soggy for multiple reasons
i couldn't comfortably fix the leak
handling outside food at a function is frowned upon
i fixed it int he bathroom and it was frowned upon
like that man frowned upon his wife
do you have to take that call right now
maybe they aren't married
there was plenty of rain
the patio collected water
like the basketball court on south lexington
malfunctioning drain kinda gave us a swimming pool
if you consider 5 inches enough for a dip
cabbage garden in the corner and sunburnt scalps
prepared gardeners wear hats but dad's in a rush
wet backpack because plant sprouts need transported
in paper towels heavied with nourishment
can you pick up some paper towels on your way home
they aren't good for the environment
but the cats and dogs keep vomiting
why can't they hold onto their insides better
slow down and you won't get sick
calm down and you won't get excited
be down and you won't be too up
if your backpack is wet it can't get wet
SECONDHAND DOGS
it seems prudent to note that one way to benefit
our environment is to choose thrift clothes
one way to benefit our environment
is to wear what someone didn't want
to cover in disregard the price is right
always remember to spay and neuter the pets
man in a suit certainly not thrifted reminded us
the pets you spay them you neuter them
so they don't become more than they are
maybe in another life they have kids
maybe in that life there aren't angry mobs
baby savers and baby killers
who might not note separate collections of equally angry people
choose thrifted clothes and save our earth
or if that doesn't spark interest wear leather and fur
better to wear a secondhand animal though
i know people who kick their dogs
even in their fresh kicks
i remember the man who left puppies on the grill in the park
i think about the people who found the hot dogs
i wonder if they have dogs of their own
it seems prudent to note that one way to benefit our environment
might be checking a dog out from a shelter
like a book from a library
or any other book-lending structure
but the thing about a dog is it doesn't look bad to return a book
and it does look bad to return a dog
looks bad to return a dog to the pound
there isn't anything fresh at the pound
especially a third or fourth hand dog
NIGHT MODE FISH TANK
IN THE QUIET ROOM THERE IS A FISH TANK
THE BIGGEST FISH ALWAYS HOVERS TOP RIGHT
THIS RULE IS UNSPOKEN
THE OTHERS CRAWL ALONG THE FLOOR
THEY CLEAN UP MESSES
DOWNT HE HALL IS THE PLAN ROOM
FURTHER AROUND THE BEND IS THE WELLNESS ROOM
THERE IS ONLY THE ONE FISH TANK IN THE ONE ROOM
IN THE QUIET ROOM THE LIGHTS STAY OFF
BECAUSE THAT IS HOW TO IMPLEMENT QUIET
TODAY I DID MY ROUNDS
PAST THE QUIET, SHOWER, PLAN, WELLNESS, PHONE ROOMS
INTO THE EATING ROOM
I MADE ALL MY ROUNDS PAST ALL THE ROOMS
FILLED THE ROOM IN MY STOMACH WITH COFFEE
A WOMAN WHO THOUGHT SHE KNEW ME
ASKED ME IF I HAD GOTTEN MY HAIRCUT
I HAD BUT SHE WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN THAT
I TOLD HER YES BECAUSE IT WAS THE TRUTH
I SPLIT AN ALMOND DOWN THE CENTER
AND RUBBED MY TONGUE AGAINST SMOOTH MEAT
COLD LIKE FIRST SECONDS OF PILLOW CASE
I STOPPED IN THE QUIET ROOM ON MY WAY BACK
TO CHECK ON MY FISH KING, FLOATING IN POSITION
HE FLOATED THERE WIH PURPOSE
THE KIND THAT PROVES HE FACILITATES QUIET
ALMONDS ARE PROBABLY FROWNED UPON IN THIS KIND OF ROOM
THE LIGHTS IN THE TANK WERE NOT DAYLIGHT LIGHTS
THE FISH ARE FORCED TO BELIEVE THE DAY IS NIGHT
THE FISH ARE FORCED TO BELIEVE I NEED THEM FOR QUIET
THE FISH DON'T HAVE ANY SAY IN THEIR CAREER PATHS
I DECIDE IT IS OKAY TO LET THE ALMOND SPEAK
THE FISH KING REACTS TO THE CRACK
BRIEFLY MAKING THE THRONE VULNERABLE
NO ONE TAKES IT THOUGH
WITHOUT HIS GAZE THE QUIET ROOM MAY INCREASE VOLUME
MACHO
maybe all we need
is to search on sidewalks for tables the right height
and maybe when anything is just the right height
other stuff can feel cool
the ceilings in the apartment increase the market value
because when you raise your fingertips
they aren't sliced by whipped cream texture and also they're tall
but the real market value comes
with fans letting air fall across warm bellies
oxygen increases market value
but can't be accurately counted
maybe all we need is to dance to damn sexy funk songs
with our arms and our legs
i fed strawberries that i dropped on the ground to strangers
and i've never gotten over it
i had sex dreams about nathan for you
and look back on them fondly
does truth increase the market value
what if truth fills the rooms to the ceilings that our fingers are safe from
what if lies leave space for more oxygen
more oxygen to be felt on the navels
WAKING UP IN SWEAT THINKING YOU PEED YOURSELF
yes we do all we can
for the ungrateful rugrats
yes i agree
we must do all we can
for the ungrateful rugrats
i saw a dog the other day
i saw a dog or maybe it was
a bear or a flying squirrel
whatever i saw couldn't hurt me
couldn't hurt anyone if i stayed looking at it
whatever i saw couldn't hurt anything
if i kept it under my nose
i think about sweat and how it
becomes gauge of proximity
i don't care that it's happening
so the home isn't compromised
i see that it must be okay
keep an adversary in your line of sight
to make sure they avoid attacking a dog you also see
that dog has cataracts and cannot see great
other people in your life might have cataracts too
which wouldn't protect them as good from adversaries
especially those that can't move with eyes on them
the ungrateful rugrats are protected from this one
we will protect anything that can't see as long as we do
ZEBRAS
LOOK FOR ZEBRAS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET
AND JUMP OVER ESCALATORS OR BECOME STRING CHEESE
THEY TOLD US EARLY ABOUT THINGS WE MIGHT NEED TO AVOID
AND EXACTLY THE BEST WAY TO DO SO
I LOOK FOR ZEBRAS EVERY TIME CUZ IT'S LAW
I WAS TRAINED TO LOOK
I STEP FAR OVER THE ENDS OF ESCALATORS
AND I STAY IN ONE PIECE
I DO ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE
OF DEMONSTRATIONS THAT I STILL PULL APART
JUST LIKE WHAT THE ESCALATOR COULD DO TO ME
I LOOK FOR ZEBRAS
BUT THEY DIDN'T STRESS AS MUCH
ABOUT THE ZEBRAS LOOKING FOR ME
IF THEY'RE NOT LOOKIN' THEY MIGHT NOT SEE
IT BRINGS TO LIGHT THAT I REALLY DID LISTEN
AND I REALLY DID REMEMBER TO LOOK
BUT SOMETIMES THAT DOESN'T WORK
MOXIE + HEROES
I'll walk further to admire toxic water
and to locate a trash can for some minutes
just to be the last one there
I'll sit on a bench and pet Moxie
who will ignore peanut butter remnants
served for her on concrete
like when the people leave their pizza on top of the trash cans
don't go too far Moxie, Moxie's leash is dragging
and Moxie's eyes aren't suggesting that Moxie will go far
so maybe don't insult her with a flaccid rope
or paw print on the Christmas card. She might be Jewish.
were you drinking a beer in the park
it's peach fuzz I can do what I want that's what the park's all about
I tell them how it is, how the park is
If I call ahead and rush there, can I reserve the park for my heroes?
in the park we'll drink peach fuzz, me 'n my heroes, in the park!
in the park we'll stretch out all our toes to rid them of the prickles,
no room for prickles in the park.
VISUHBBLE PANTEES
the wheels are just for decoration
it's an antique, doesn't roll
drawers are known to cause repetitive bouts of fury
because you should know better than to think
that you deserve a smooth opening
or direct path to your selection
for how you'll be seen in the day
you should know better to assume worthy
of a quiet drag and swift cotton sliding over areas
you have to cover at your desk
the high rise is all that you could scramble for
through that crevice that you pried from that jam
think about how other drawers might glide
the clean pants are low rise but just gonna go with it
i wanted my garments under but my garments are out
if i walk like this, maybe you'll believe i did it on purpose
if i walk like that, maybe you'll even do it too
OINTMENTS
NOT A SOUNDING BOARD TO OTHER FACES
I LOVE THE NAME THERE BUT NOT ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF THERE
TASTE ALL AROUND TONGUE MAP SECTORS
GUESSING WHICH ONE WILL IT TRIGGER, IS IT BITTER?
IT'S LIKE CAVIAR YOU'VE NEVER BUT YOU TALK ABOUT LIKE YOU ALWAYS
ANSWERING TO DEMONSTRATE REHEARSED PEACE
THAT MIGHT KEEP MOM FROM SENDING YOU PRAYERS
WE GET BURNED AND GOTTA SMEAR THAT CLEAR GOOP
THAT NEVER DRIES AND THEN ENDS UP ON YOUR PANTS,
AND ENDS UP ON YOUR SHEETS
IT NEVER DRIES, BUT YOU FORGET THAT IT'S WET EVERY TIME
BOX
CRADLE RECTANGLE
LIZARD BRAINS FIT INSIDE MEETING CORNERS
HAD A SCREWDRIVER SO I UNSCREWED EVERYTHING
HOME IMPROVEMENT, TIM ALLEN
PAID TO WAIT FOR HOWEVER SO IN THE MEANTIME LAUGH
ABOUT EXITING THE WIZARD
OR ABOUT NOISES SEPARATED BY LOW WALLS
THAT DON'T BLOCK FACES IF YOU STAND UP
GROWING CONSCIENCE PILE
SUPERVISED SPACES MAKE RULES
TO ENVELOPE A GRIND
AND YOUR EXPERIENCE AND MINE MIGHT BE GENERIC
YOU GET ONE, YOU GET ONE, YOU GET ONE TOO,
EVERYONE LOOK UNDER YOUR CHAIR
YOU GOT ONE! YOU ALL GOT THE SAME ONE.
ISN'T THAT SO NICE AND FAIR
LIZARD BRAIN PRODUCERS
MUST HAVE ADEQUATE FOLLOWING
OUR PROMOTIONAL GIFT SCORE
THEN WE WILL GO BAFCK AND THINK
WHAT A WASH
AND HANG OUR OUTERS ON PLASTIC TRIANGLES
BOWED WHERE PANTS MAY REST
UNTIL TOMORROW WHEN THE PLASTIC MAY REST TOO
HOW CRAZY WE BUILD LITTLE ROOMS FOR OUR COATS,
AND CRACK SEALS THAT SMACK US WITH FROOT LOOP BREEZE
COFFEE, DRINKS & LIGHT BITES COMPLEMENT THE PASTRIES
OFFERED AT THIS CASUAL CAFE
dad prefers think soup over thick soup
says no every time you offer him butternut squash
is it still polite to offer someone squash
when you know someone doesn't want squash
mom got a haircut
she asked the lady how to do it exactly how the lady did it last time
she wanted the lady to remember what she remembered
the lady allegedly didn't remember accurately
dad prefers thin soup and mom doesn't like her haircut
i think thick soup is okay and that mom's hair looks fine
dad likes to wait out front for short term events to start happen and end
mom has to pee and wants honey in her hot green tea
it waits at the counter as her entrance fee
i stare at the green sponge cake
it looked inoffensive when i tried to make him eat something
to calm him down to cool him down
the day he wasn't calm or cool
he thought you add 2 degrees to get the right measurement
but thermometers are honest most times
and he didn't have a fever
powdered sugar in a mustache that sits on a frown is silly
no matter the circumstance
a soft green square for soft green eyes
looked like how that man sister saved on the train might have looked
when she pulled him back from sayin' bye to everyone
throw a leg over a chain between rolling boxes
she pulled him back and said no don't do it despite time spent in bed
her lips are numb, she can't feel powdered sugar
it just stays hanging uninvited
only recent did she connect that powdered sugar
might have something to do with enjoying other lips
something not so nice to do with that
no one has green eyes to match their cake
dad is across the street knocking on things
determining construction solidity
mom forgot to grab a lid
FLAKES
i hate it when
my skin flakes and peels
right above my left eyelid
right beneath my left eyebrow
i hate it when
skin flecks fall down
onto the table
as i talk to a dude
or anyone
they fall down from my face
onto the table
like when i put fish flakes
onto the surface
of fish water
i hate it when
my skin flecks are
just the same weight
as the fish flakes
the fish might not even
know the difference
but they are so elated
to see those flakes
i hate it when fish
get left on the sidewalk
in prego jars
full of water and not prego
not at room temp
i hate it when people did that
to these fish that i feed flakes
i tell the dude about the fish
i tell him on wednesday with my thumbs
as the flecks fall i'm relieved he doesn't see
or that if he could he'd just associate
the flecks with the flakes
i tell the dude 4 times
i tell him i like my new fish
later in a bed i say i like my new fish
and he asks what i'm talking about
and there are probably flakes
on my pillowcase
REVIEW
notice a while
little contact
feet make to ground
still holding up bodies and cargo
maybe they can do it
if the contents of a stomach are listed
maybe they can do it
if they feel a book in their pockets
that they need to write their transgressions in
stolen minutes of child behavior in adult rooms
peanut butter spoons
or cinnamon coffee with the cubicle news
type real big to those who never said
they wanted to read it
let drafts stack
wish it was money
sleep early just to make sure
the next day isn't foggy
but today was foggy and last night was early
apple a day for a year
all my husbands are dead now
they hang around on apple cracks in quiet rooms
while i look too much in mirrors that eat days
eat an apple with me in the park
mom and dad will hear the cracks
and know not to call us in before dark
NO ONE WILL BUY THIS ROOMBA
sorry i bled on your boxers and we didn't talk about it
when we were watching the top of the train,
i was really only looking at freckles on opal or pearl
i never knew my gem stones
and always wanted to know my gemstones
i like rocks, to hold rocks, to pick 'em outta piles
know mine is peridot
don't know if it's pair-uh-dough or pair-ih-dot
i like to choose which rocks don't get piled
mom wants to know
if i was too afraid to go home on the train
could ask what she wants to know but she doesn't
that would shatter blue glass birds
feet would bleed on mopped floors and new rugs
rugs with new lumps underneath them
and bandaid papers would skitter just out of reach
because of ceiling fans in adjacent rooms
EMPANADAS
I like to eat bread with someone who
will just eat the outside and be satisfied
so i can have all the insides and then
the crust won't scrape my face
and leave an unusual mark
that can't go unexplained to askers
and as for the empanadas
D said we're doing them the old fashioned way,
against P's wishes,
we're doing them the old fashioned way,
full patty cooked and chopped not ground beef,
patties in the skillet have circumference,
not the unnamed shapes P wanted
I regularly do this,
forget about the scratch and then it'll sting,
as for the empanadas,
they are to be eaten, and due to hot sauces,
scratches may burn.
we eat them by the lizard tank while the lizards also eat
their meals that squeal,
but we can still laugh and eat
the chopped beef and admire the view.
the lizard tank is too small
for the amount of lizards it houses
my fingers sting when the sauce drips down them
and into the scratches
my face stings when my napkin
pushes sauces into the ones too
P wishes her empanada was different
than the way her empanada is
a lizard wishes that they did not have to ration
their spot under the heat lamp
and notes they are amidst a few other species
including but not limited to a frog
they might not all get along on one rock in the wild
and as for the empanadas
the patties are cheaper than the pound of the ground
she wants to see if they'll fight
she wants to place one empanada central
into the tank too crowded
to discern which lizard might be the leader
it wouldn't be a waste because
they aren't the way she likes them anyway,
with ground beef
like that time with the wolf spider in a plastic box
with that green lid and that orange cricket
by the well in the cul-de-sac under a pine tree
near where that twerp threw gravel that
landed precise on a vein in M's hand
it stung and it swelled while the spider stung the cricket
and the cricket was stung and the cricket had swelled
it might be useful not to exploit limited space in this way,
filling plastic with combat
if the spider stays in the garage
and the cricket in the forget-me-nots
while the cow elsewhere is becoming patties
that are purchased over the ground beef
that the cow is also becoming
because today's specials were circular,
there could be pause
we do this the old fashioned way,
today like any other regular day,
we will cook patties first and then dismember them
and when it's time we will feed the lizards too,
and any bread too sharp will cut our fingers
and any bread too sharp will cut our cheeks around our lips
and these cuts may lead to a stinging sensation
DONNA'S CHRISTMAS COOKIES ON THE WHITE COUCH
FRAMES OFF OF THE WALL
LAID OUT ON THE WHITE COUCH
IN THE WEIRD EVERYTHING ROOM
LINEN UPHOLSTERY WITH THE WHITE ON WHITE FLORAL
SLICED MY THIGH OPEN JUST FOR WALKING BY
ALL THE BROKEN GLASS ON THE FLOOR
AFTER STUFF GOT ANGRY
I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW SATISFYING TO BREAK
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
BUT THEN HOW HORRIBLE
TO PULL GLASS BITS OUT OF THE CARPET
SO THAT SMALL TOES WON'T FIND THEM FIRST
HE SAID ON THE PHONE TO STICK MY FACE IN THE WIND
DESPITE FEARING I MIGHT GET SOME DEBRIS IN MY EYE
OR LOSE MY FAVORITE HAT
I'VE YELLED AT THE WIND
WAITING AT THE PHARMACY
I’m s’posed to know
All there is to know
About dyin’ cuz
Look at me
All bones showin’
S’posed to be knowin’
How many days passin’
Before the maggots
Start harassin’
I look like i am
S’posed to know
They tell me, they say,
They tell me, hey! You!
Tell me the best
Way we should lay!
I think about books I read
That might have told me
Explicity how to be dead
I know i had shelves, many shelves,
There were planks and brackets
And they held up weight
But no matter how hard I squint
I can’t seem to regain any fine print
What a waste to have spent
All that time with those books
If i can’t use the info
To verify my looks
The best way to lay
In the grave could be
On your back
Face to sky
Hoping planes
Might fly by
I hope that’s enough
Just a guess i am sayin’
But to my credit
It’s much more than just layin’